You were so beautiful

So I dropped off the face of the earth, I know this. There has been a lot going on with finals and the difficulty of the summer. I always dread the summer because from the time I was 8 I have had people die in the summer. All four of my grandparents died in May or June each a different year.

This year was not someone I was related to but someone I admired and appreciated.


Kahlo Benavidez was two years ahead of me in school. He was one of the most openly gay members of the student body who paved the way for younger gays, dealing with the teachers' prejudices and the snide remarks, forcing the administration to sell couples' prom tickets to same-sex couples (something they briefly fought).

After highschool I learned that Kahlo was HIV positive. Rather than retreating into depression and denial he became an amazing and inspiring activist. I'm still blown away by how hard he worked and the things he accomplished.

On the 24th of April he took his own life.

It's still surreal and painful and confusing. It doesn't make anysense. The outpouring of love and sadness over his death is astounding.

I'm sorry he chose that path. I can understand what it's like to be staring down reality and choose that path. It's just so tragic that despite how much people looked up to him and loved him and admired him and respected him he still felt that death was the best option.


I'm in the midst of trying to finish the semester and sort out my emotions and maintain my own delicate balance between mania and depression. I'm struggling but I'll make it through this.



Kahlo, wherever you are, I'm sorry I never thanked you for everything you did. I hope it's easier, that you're happier, wherever you are. Around here you're missed greatly.

Frak YOU Amazon.com!!

So apparently Amazon.com managed to drop it's LGBT books from the ranked lists as they are now classified as "Adult Material". WTF!?

This post from the blog Jezebel possibly sums up the outrage of the community the best. It includes a list of the books stripped of rankings and those allowed to keep them. It's slightly mind blowing.

All Things Digital is suggesting that what Amazon did was an accident but the #Amazonfail hashtag on twitter would indicate that it's a little late. Over the course of a weekend an entire movement has started and spread to thousands of people on the internet. Where does Amazon base its entire business? Online. Not only does Amazon now have a problem with people mobilizing on the net pushing for boycotts and demanding an apology, Amazon itself is remaining very quiet about the whole ordeal. Bad Move.

The new consumer has every peice of information at their fingertips. Our main source of information is not a library; it's an opensource encylopedia that is both free and constantly updated and sourced. We are able to track packages from the minute we place the order to the minute they arrive at our door. We want to know what's going on and if we don't then we want a reason. Keeping quiet about something this big could potentially cost Amazon a noticeable amount of business.


This whole thing pisses me off supremely because I just ordered three books from them: My Gender Workbook, GenderQueer, and Nobody Passes. I have a huge project for my Contemporary Sexualities class due on Thursday so I'm scrambling to get the last few pieces lined up. My ducks are rarely in a row; I'm lucky if my ducks stay in the same vicinity. So I ordered these books for my project and now I find out that in doing so I'm supporting a company that is undermining the validity of the LGBT community.

What does it say about our society that a story concerning corporate discrimination against an entire community gets broken on twitter?



Side Note: I discovered that it is possible to set bread on fire using only a toaster oven and a lack of understanding of said toaster oven. On the plus side I know that my smoke alarms work. Betty Crocker Homemaker of Tomorrow I am not.



(In case your wondering this is what "frak" means.)

Teh Intarwebz, they are awesome: a reading response

If I'm numbering correctly this should be week 4 in reading responses.

I will not lie; I had to google the word "foment" to find out exactly what it meant because the image in my mind had more to do with coffee than activism.

In thinking about spaces used to generate and promote activism and participation the first thing that comes to my mind is the internet. The techniques and finer points may vary but the basis of so much social organizing and debate is based on the internet.

I could bore people with the specifics but if you look back at my post Infinity and beyond from March you will see an image which is a graphic representation of the internet as of sometime in 2005. The entire world is connected instantly and with the meteoric rise of Google the information is no longer difficult to access.

Blogs like Feministing, Racialicious, Jack and Jill Politics, and others are able to use the internet to stay on top of information and keep up with their communities. They also have the ability to use seach engines like Google and Yahoo! to draw more readers to them. The way the blog system is built with reciprocal linking, blogrolls, and instant sourcing via hyperlinks is inherently designed to grow.

I don't at all doubt the ability of bloggers and vloggers like Sarah Haskins and Smart Girls at the Party to use the frameworks of Web 2.0 to their advantage.

I will say that many of these people have the Howard Dean campaign to thank for this framework as they were the first to prove that it could be done on a national level. Despite the fact that Dean did not win the primary, his campaign manager Joe Trippi's book The Revolution Will Not be Televised explains how Dean's campaign which was based heavily on web support and participation succeeded in proving that political challenges could be brought directly to the people. Suddenly political organizing and activism was no longer people in high places talking at people it was webmasters and bloggers talking to and with people.

The same is true of activism. For so long activism was something that lobbyists did: someone set the agenda and a limited group of people were sent out to do something about it. Feedback was complicated, difficult, and extremely limited. When web 2.0 concepts were introduced the model was changed so that people are now often given direct links to contact people in places of power and let their opinions be known.

Getting something done is generally a question of knowing how to properly disseminate your information. Should you use Twitter or Facebook or a more complex tagging system for your blog?

In working on the obama campaign I watch some of the most amazing things happen using Web and communication resources. Canvassing and phonebanking organized over the internet. Peopler could print their own lists without ever having to come in to our office. Sometimes organizing can be spontaneous and other times Webmasters and bloggers such as those at Feministing can encourage their audiences to get involved thus spreading a cause far quicker and further than word of mouth or other conventional methods such as chalking a campus or flyering a neighborhood could.

I think that the claims made in the articles are valid. Everyone has a voice and deserves to have that voice heard. Attention needs to be drawn to certain issues. A huge benefit of using the web for organizing is that people are not limited in the content they choose to work with. They are not sending out a topical newsletter that will require all 15 articles to be based around the same things. Each post can be hugely different, organizing efforts can be very specific and targeted. This can, in some ways, streamline the processes surrounding organizing.

Blog response 2(?): why tautological observations are pointless.

*I seem incapable of writing a short blog. I suggest you settle in.*

I'll admit I had strong hesitations about working in a department or even a class full of feminists because I consider much of the approach to academia to be pointless. I'm not saying this is isolated to feminism and women's rights. This trend is present in all cases of inequality that are studied formally. But while I was looking around Finally, a Feminism 101 blog I came across a post explaining why the feminism is the way it is: more argument than movement and realized that it's okay for me to define feminism differently than other people and that open honest debate is not necessarily a bad thing.

I do not consider myself truly a "feminist" or a "queerist" or even "leftist" so much as I consider myself to be an ACTIVIST (who happens to be on training wheels at the moment). I believe in action. This action should be well informed, yes, but there should still be action.

I am deeply frustrated by people who point and say "That's wrong because it is." Such tautology is not only non-sensical, it's literally pointless. I personally feel that much academic observation is of this kind. In reading articles about women in various situations of opression or hate crimes that have been committed I have noticed that very few people stop to answer the question of "Why?"

Why do these things happen?
Why have these problems not been fixed?
What could be done about it?
How can we enact these ideas?
What would be the effect?

I feel that people who don't bother answering these questions shouldn't be throwing around accusatory statements.

One example I remember witnessing was a friend who was a self-proclaimed "feminazi" stated rather bluntly "I have a right to bitch because as a woman I'm oppressed by men."
This was something of a pinnacle WTF? moment. "How are you oppressed?" someone asked.
"I'm oppressed by men, that's how." she snapped back.
"okay... You're not answering the question and if you're so oppressed what are you doing to change it?" I asked.
"I did answer the question and I'm not doing anything. I have other things to do." she sighed and the subject was changed.

This exchange stuck with me because I remember feeling that despite her oppression she was free to express discontent and was also free to try to change things. Yet she didn't. So many people aren't willing to make that move from the anthropomorphic world of written word wars to the real world where people slam doors in your face and your car gets keyed and sometimes you really reach someone and change their mind and improve the world just a little bit.

I feel that if more people associated with civil rights causes spent less time writing papers about the way things are now and started thinking about the way things could be and how we can change them then we really can change the world for the better.

In the words of John Lennon, "You may say I'm a dreamer but I'm not the only one."